by Stupid Ross
In the spirit of the Superstar Shakeup and seeing new and old wrestlers on Raw and Smackdown, I have finally decided to think about and compile a list of my favourite WWE Superstars of all time. I’ve been a huge wrestling fan since around 1989/90, when my world revolved around being a Hulk-a-Maniac. I adored Hulk Hogan, I had novelty slippers, toys, VHS tapes, hardback annuals, colouring books and a Hulk Hogan wrestling buddy, which is still alive and kicking, despite a dodgy looking hole in the groin from decades of wishbone leg splitters. My love for wrestling never stopped, and only got stronger. I would get so much stick at school in the late ’90s for watching it, before the glory days of the early 2000’s when it became a big fad again, mainly because of Channel 4 airing Sunday Heat and a few PPV’s a year.
When the fad died and everyone ‘grew up’, my love for wrestling continued and continues to this day. I watch Raw, Smackdown, NXT, Impact, and Ring of Honor every week, that’s a lot of hours, luckily my girlfriend enjoys watching them with me (or maybe I don’t give her the choice). I have always wanted to be a wrestler, but due to my height, unhealthiness, lack of muscles and Rheumatoid Arthritis, I never made it, and still, have never made it to a gym. I’m happy being a stay-at-home fan and not participating, eating, smoking and drinking what I want. So, here are my favourite WWE Superstars of all time…
10. Hulk Hogan
I couldn’t do this list without having the Hulkster on it, I mean he is the reason I and so many others got into wrestling. What he did back in the day was great, he really brought professional wrestling to the mainstream. Yes, these days he is looked upon a little differently, due to stories of backstage politics, sex tapes, and racial slurs, but I can’t help but hold a soft spot for the old timer in my heart. I don’t condone or agree with his actions over the last few years, but only hope that his legacy is not forever tarnished. Wrestling would not be the same today if it wasn’t for Hulk Hogan.
9. The Undertaker
Although I am a little bored of The Deadman and his gimmick these days, when he first came to town he was terrifying. A giant of a man that threw himself around the ring like a cruiserweight, with his ghostly white face and greasy mullet. His run with the Ministry of Darkness was weird but again terrifying, pushing the barriers of kayfabe. His run as The American Badass was awesome, although it was a step away from the gothic side of his character, seeing him come down to the ring on his motorbike
to the sounds of Limp Bizkit made my teenage brain swell with excitement. His great Hell in a Cell matches with Shaun Michaels and Mick Foley will go down in wrestling history and deservedly so, they were so exciting to watch. These days I feel that he should have hung up his boots a long time ago, and gone out while he was still menacing and an actual threat, seeing the old man in the ring once a year takes away some of the magic for me, but I still get a lump in my throat when I hear that gong.
8. D-Lo Brown
My first controversial entry, I loved D-Lo Brown. There was something about him that drew my attention, his high flying skills for a heavier man, his cocky strut to the ring with his legendary head shaking, D-Lo doesn’t get the credit he deserves. An integral part of The Nation of Domination, D-Lo should have reached much loftier heights, but as is with a lot of great talent they are held to the mid-card and left to slowly fade away. D-Lo was a former Intercontinental Champion and 4 time European Champion, he even held both titles simultaneously for a period, something that few other wrestlers have been able to achieve (Jeff Jarrett, Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam). D-Lo had a short career in TNA, the high point was probably his feud with a young AJ Styles for the NWA World Heavyweight Title. D-Lo is now still a part of Impact, but works behind the scenes, occasionally popping up on tv tapings for a huge pop.
7. Paul Burchill
With probably the greatest entrance in WWE history, The Pirate Paul Burchill was another wasted talent. He won himself over with the crowd after changing to his pirate character and subsequent feud with William Regal, which saw him beat Regal in a ‘Winner chooses the losers attire’ match. This was the formation of a great short-lived tag team ‘The Buccaneers’. In the Ruthless Aggression era, Paul was a much-needed light-hearted relief, up until his gimmick was ended by Mark Henry on a rampage. After Mark squashed him, Paul was stretchered off and that was the end, mainly due to good old Vince not really understanding the gimmick and not having faith in it, despite the positive crowd reactions, well done Vince. Paul was eventually drafted to ECW, where he did earn himself a title match against then-champion Christian, which he lost. After the end of the ECW brand Paul Burchill was released from his contract, THE biggest mistake Vince McMahon has ever made, apart from Stephanie. Paul continued on the Independent circuit until he retired in 2017. While on the indies Burchill Faced AJ Styles, which is an absolute dream match, worthy of a Wrestlemania headline slot. If we ever needed a wrestler to come out of retirement, it is definitely Burchill, even if it was to team with Kairi Sane for the mixed match challenge.
6. Kurt Angle
The Olympic Hero who won a gold medal ‘with a broken freakin neck’. It was a gold medal for the USA at the 1996 Olympics, being English/Cornish I didn’t really care about that. What I did care about was Angles amazing heel character, the cheesy goody 2 shoes, milk drinking suck up. It was genius and rare actual comedy gold in the WWE. Spawning great segments with the likes of Stone Cold, Mick Foley, Edge & Christian and many more. Angle was probably the best thing about the horrible WCW/ECW invasion, with his unforgettable milk truck segment on Raw, parrying Stone COld’s previous beer truck segment. Probably one of the best WWE Champions and most deserving, bringing relevance to whatever title he held. Arguably his run in TNA was just as good, giving us some of his best feuds to date with the likes of AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, Jeff Jarrett, and Sting. Kurt was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame in 2017, Kurt was back on WWE television for the first time since 2006. Looking oddly shaped and out of shape, Kurt took on the role of Raw General Manager, which he did really well until he was forced off TV by Baron ‘bloody bugger’ Corbin. This storyline would continue to Wrestlemania this year and Kurt’s final match. When you think of all the amazing opponents Kurt could have had for his retirement match, Baron Corbin is not one of them. Sting, AJ Styles, John Cena, The Undertaker, Samoa Joe, Paul Burchill, but no Baron Corbin it was. Not the way any of us wanted to see our Olympic Hero go out. You Suck Kurt and you always will.
5. Stone Cold Steve Austin
Drinking beer, sticking his middle fingers up, beating up anyone he wanted, riding Zambonis, singing Cum by yar, spraying the corporation with a beer hose, breaking his neck, being run over by Rikishi, breaking glass, being arrested, passing out to a Sharpshooter, two time Royal Rumble Winner, swearing, red neck, heel, face, Million Dollar Champ and blonde bombshell.
4. Mick Foley/Mankind/Cactus Jack and Dude Love
Mick Foley has to be one of the greatest things about WWE history. His storied career is one of the greatest ever, which you can read about in his 2 biographies. What this man put his body through just to give fans a good show is insane. The back cover of his first biography ‘Foley is Good’ shows a picture of Mankind and all the injuries he sustained over his career to that point. Worth have a look at, just to see how dedicated this man was. He is lost his fucking ear in a WCW match with Vader and still carried on and finished the match. What a trooper. His Hell in a Cell matches are the stuff of legends, especially his 1998 King of The Ring match with The Undertaker, not really a wrestling match, but a show of how tough and how big Mick Foley’s balls really are. The ability to make any match he had amazing, with his unbeatable charisma and love for what he does. In-ring, out of the ring Foley had it all. He was willing to take the risks many other superstars wouldn’t, what more can I say. Go back and check out his King of The Death Match series, and work out for yourselves if he had a death wish or a wish to entertain. A definite Hall of Fame entry in the next few years.
3. Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan is just a delight to watch, his intensity in the ring and dedication to the craft is matched by no-one. A showing that you don’t have to be a big, muscley, sweaty beast to make it to the top of the WWE, as long as you can get the crowd over and give them something they want to see. Despite managements many efforts to knock him down off his perch, DB’s rapor with the WWE Universe would never let this happen. Giving us one of if not the best Wrestlemania moment of all time, when he overcame the odds to beat Triple H, Randy Orton, and Batista to become the WWE Champion at Wrestlemania 30. His short-lived run as champion came to an end due to injury, this was devastating, after all his hard work. But Daniel never gave up. He made his in-ring return to WWE after finally being medically cleared in 2018. Eventually becoming WWE Champion again after turning heel and kicking AJ Styles in the nuts on an episode of Smackdown Live, this was the beginning of The New Daniel Bryan, the vegan eco-warrior champ. I have been loving this change to his character recently and especially his eco-friendly, hemp-based WWE Championship title. Eventually losing it in a very similar storyline of how he captured the title at Wrestlemania 30, to Kofi Kingston at this years Wrestlemania. There is still plenty left in the Daniel Bryan tank, with plenty more he can do in the WWE. Let’s just hope he can avoid any more concussions and stick with us for a long long time.
2. Chris Jericho
One of the greatest of all time, Chris Jericho has done it all and continues to be at the top of his game. He was my favourite wrestler of the Attitude Era, even going as far as naming my hamster after him. Coming to WWE from WCW in 1999 to one of the biggest pops in Raw history, only to be instantly buried by The Rock. This segment was amazing however, and I remember watching it, loving every second. Y2J earned every last thing he achieved in WWE, becoming the first ever undisputed champion after defeating Stone Cold and The Rock in the same night. Constantly evolving with the times, the greatest Intercontinental Champion in WWE history, he is the first wrestler that comes to mind whenever I see that title. I never got to see Y2J wrestle live, but I did get to see him strutting around on stage with his band Fozzy at Download Festival 2005. You could not wipe the smiles off mine and Rubbish-Mans faces, seeing this WWE legend screaming and keeping the crowd in the palm of his hand, a true entertainer.
Over the last few years, Y2J’s wrestling career has seen a massive resurgence, his absolutely fantastic final run with WWE saw him reach new heights. Teaming up with Kevin Owens as best friends and the arrival of ‘The List of Jericho’ put him over with new fans and old alike. Deciding to leave WWE and have another stab at New Japan, Jericho had some amazing matches with Kenny Omega and Naito, winning the IWGP Intercontinental Championship from Naito. Now officially signed with AEW we have probably seen the last of Y2J in a WWE ring, but I am excited to see what he will do with the new organisation. You stupid idiot, Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.
Honourable Mentions:
Val Venis
Crash Holly
Perry Saturn
Giant Gonzales
Pete Gas
Hornswoggle
The Boogeyman
Schnitsky
Blue Meanie
1. CM Punk
The Best In The World, Chick Magnet Punk. Quite simply the best wrestler and entertainer to ever grace the WWE ring. Still, to this day his impact on WWE is heard by adoring fans still chanting his name at live events, after not being in a WWE ring for 5 years. This is a testament to what he achieved. Another wrestler who was never meant to make it to the top because of his size and look, Punk broke down the barriers, blurring the lines of reality and kayfabe. There is not a single CM Punk match that I wouldn’t happily rewatch. I miss him being on WWE TV, he was the highlight any night he was there. Whether he was a heel or a face it didn’t matter, CM punk had the crowd eating out of his hands, arguably the best performer in the ring and on the mic the WWE has ever seen. If only Vince and Hunter could have treated him better, we could have seen him raising the Universal Championship above his head over a defeated Brock Lesnar. Will we ever see him wrestle in WWE again? I highly doubt it, he has moved on now and pursuing his MMA dream, but don’t we all just wish for one last match. It would be an absolute financial payday for both WWE and Punk if he ever did return, but old scars burn deep and we are more likely to see him return in an AEW or ROH ring. CM Punk should have been the one to end The Undertaker’s WrestleMania undefeated streak, in the words of Rubbish-Man, Fight me!! I still wait with bated breath to see the lights go out and ‘Cult of Personality’ to blare out the PA system.
There you go, comment below with your favourite WWE Superstars. Please subscribe to our YouTube channel, follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. I am Stupid Ross at Plop Culture, check in regularly to see new content. Plops Away!!
NERDFACE 